Heavy Burdens
by Kame-Fey
Summary: Renesmee can't get over the death of her parents--five months after Return Home, her life is in ruins. But vengeance is a powerful thing, and Renesmee will do whatever it takes to kill the one responsible for her misery. Full summ. inside!
1. Alone

**[[A/N: HEY GUYS! I'm back to writing now, after a month hiatus. It is well needed. I probably shouldn't be even touching fanfiction until I finish my homework, but I need a breather. So here it is, as promised, the continuation of Return Home.]]**

**Full Summary: Five months after Return Home (check out the prequel in my profile), Renesmee is a complete mess. Her relationship with Jake is broken, and she has distanced herself from the rest of the Cullens. But the desire for vengeance against the monster that is Sue Clearwater is eating away at her heart, day by day. But the raw obsession is only paralleled with Nessie's feeling of utter hopelessness. Finding a friend and an ally with an old, rather shady man named David, Nessie decides to risk it all to kill Sue and let her parents rest in peace.  
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**[[2****nd**** A/N: Honestly, I have no idea where I plan to take this story, but hopefully it'll turn out okay. I'm looking for good betas too now!!! TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!]]**

**[[3****rd**** A/N: Blah Blah Disclaimer Blah Blah. You get it…]]**

**[[4th A/N: Before you read this, you should probably know that it is a sequel to my story Return Home. It would make a lot more sense if you read it first! Check my profile for the link!]]**

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_Five months after Return Home…_

Renesmee's POV:

I munched on my Wheaties with no conviction. It seems like that was the way I did most things then…without any will or energy. I was like a corpse…like the living dead! But at least my aunts and uncles were more active than I was…although at that time, I couldn't actually vouch that their moods were any brighter than mine.

"Clean that up when you're done, Nessie," Aunt Rose reminded me from the couch. Her long, model-esque legs were draped over Uncle Emmett's lap.

I didn't respond. I got up and brought the bowl over to the sink. My eyes drifted towards the cold gray Seattle morning. Dark, late afternoon clouds hung over the rich city suburbs, casting a bluish tint to the air. _The monotonous melancholy of the day…_

I heard Alice and Uncle Jasper opening the front door downstairs, just returning from their two day hunting trip in the Olympic Mountains.

"Welcome home," I said, rinsing the bowl's contents into the food dispenser.

"Hi, Nessie," Alice greeted, skipping upstairs. Her feet flew over the wooden floor, making silent squeaks on the floorboards. She hugged me from behind, a silent message of comfort. "How was your day?" she asked softly. Her voice was low and careful.

"Fine," I replied shortly.

I felt a warm sensation radiate from within my gut. I turned my head towards the stairway entrance. Jasper stood on the top step, half hidden by the banister. I glared at him, but my uncle had faced much more intimidating things in his life—and I was constantly reminded of them every time I looked at his scarred face.

"Where are Carlisle and Esme?" Aunt Rose asked. She was facing the opposing window looking out onto the patio.

"We dropped them off in La Push to see David two days ago. They said they'd be back by tonight," Jasper reported. He strode purposely over to his sister and sat down next to her. The dimly lit living room made his shimmering white scars stand out.

"They'll be back before nightfall," Alice said confidently. She pulled my by the arm to sit with my family. I was reluctant. I honestly didn't want to. We shared the recliner armrests as our sitting places.

"Why don't we just adopt David? We have room," Emmett joked.

Rose's hand flashed out, punching Emmett in the shoulder hard. It sounded like someone dropped a bowling ball from a second story window.

Alice squeezed my hand tighter. We all knew what Emmett meant by having enough "room." I glanced down the narrow hallway to my left. Through the darkness, I could see the engraved wooden door at the very end. A small, gold plaque was pressed into the frame. Flowing, ornately curved handwriting read: Edward and Bella, Wherever They Are, This is their Home. For the last month…that room hadn't been touched.

My heart thudded slowly.

"Sorry, Ness," Emmett apologized, his voice hard.

"It's okay. It's not like David isn't part of our family anyway," I said.

Since Mom's death, Carlisle and Esme had been going back and forth between Forks and Seattle almost every month to see a David (he never actually did tell us his last name), a one-fourth Quileute, one-half Russian man who ran a thrift shop on the rez. And even more, he knew about vampires and the legends surrounding them—although his willingness to release said information always came at a price.

"He is willing to help us on our research about Sue. I don't care about the consequences," Carlisle had said the day he introduced us to David. I was initially hesitant about bringing in a human into our family troubles, but then Jake came into the room and immediately hugged the man. Apparently they were fishing/poker partners.

A lump caught in my throat. Jake.

Alice seemed to know what was going on. She kicked Uncle Jasper who sent a wave of calm over me. I gulped.

"Thinking about Edward and Bella?" Aunt Rose asked.

I shook my head. "No." I suddenly needed some time to myself. I got up and without saying anything, headed to my room.

My room was adjacent to my parent's room…well it was the guest bedroom, but when Alice heard I was coming to live with them, she spruced it up and made it quite homey. I closed the door behind me, leaning on it heavily.

My room was considerably smaller than anyone else's. In fact, it was so narrow, that there was about a foot of space between the bed, dresser, and the wall that I could fit through. But I liked it better that way. My bed was pushed up against a niche in the wall, but the indentation formed a large arch over the head of my bed—so I took advantage of it and hung lights around the edge. Next to it was a storage unit that functioned as a lamp, and a small T.V. that Alice put on my dresser. The only thing I wished for was a window.

There was a knock behind me. I sighed. "Who is it?" I asked, even though I already knew.

"Alice. Let me in, Nessie."

I opened the door. My aunt slipped through before I had even opened it fully. She pushed my hand, slamming the door.

"What do you want, Alice?" I asked tiredly. I stared at my aunt glumly. Her amber eyes were unwavering, but the boundless cheer they had was gone. The sparkle had disappeared five months ago.

"When are you going to move back with Jake?" Alice asked, looking around the room distastefully. "This room just mocks my interior design skills. I can't stand it."

I didn't smile. When was the last time I had smiled? "It's a great room, Alice. You underestimate your abilities."

"You are _just_ like Bella," Alice noted. My chest tightened with pain, although I knew she didn't mean any harm. "But seriously, you should move back. Jake needs you. I can tell."

I rolled my eyes. "Jake needs to ease up on his masculinity," I retorted.

"You're talking about a century old werewolf. Besides, he was only worried about you," Alice remarked, lying back on my bed. Her thin frame seemed even smaller in my voluminous comforters. Seattle winters were cold.

"Yah, well he was a jerk. Okay? When I needed him, he wasn't there for me. What was I supposed to do?" I demanded.

"Have patience…and have hope," Alice responded. I blinked. "This entire month, you've been nothing but a lifeless doll without any hope of seeing a better future. Jake was trying to get you to have hope, but you couldn't let the past go."

"Ugh. I don't want to talk with you if you're gonna be Confucius this afternoon," I snapped, slouching against the door again. I let myself slide down the lacquered side to the cushy carpet below.

Alice smiled. "Alright."

We sat there in silence. Frankly, I found it awkward.

Alice jumped up suddenly. "Carlisle and Esme are home."

I didn't move. "So?" I didn't care.

"So, they have some news from David. But Carlisle is being keen on not deciding when and how to tell us," Alice continued impatiently. I could hear the familiar crunch of Carlisle's vovlo on the driveway pavement.

"Okay…"

"He may have information about Sue."

"Okay, then."

Alice groaned. "What has gotten into you, Nessie? Don't you care anymore?"

I didn't respond. My hands were clenched tightly around my knees. I didn't care. I didn't care. Why? Because there was no reason for me to do so anymore. Sue took everything from me.

"You act like you are the only one affected by Sue," Alice growled. Her golden eyes were sharp with frustration. "But you aren't! Everyone here in this house is equally as hurt as you are. Edward and Bella are our family as well! Don't forget that, Renesmee."

She moved towards the door. I crawled aside and let her pass through the slim opening in the door.

I heard her voice cheerily greet Carlisle and Esme as they climbed up the stairs. She certainly knew how to change her tone in a heartbeat.

But I thought about her words.

What did I want in life if I didn't care about anything anymore? I wanted my parents back, but that was impossible. Their bodies lay underground in the Forks cemetery, unmarked aside from a group of wildflowers that were planted over their spot. I wanted my life back. That was out of the question.

I wanted to kill Sue. But how?? I couldn't stand up to her! That was clear. And I knew that the more she fed, the more powerful she got. I had no chance against her. So how? How could I beat her?

"_Have hope_._"_ Alice's words came back to me now, stronger than ever. Was that what I was supposed to do? Have hope that things would get better?

I got up. I peaked my head out the door silently. Carlisle and Esme were sitting at the kitchen bar, speaking so rapidly that it was hard to parse their words. They were pointing to something on the table.

"To think that old man had something like this," Emmett breathed, his eyes wide with wonder.

"How old do you think this is?" Rosalie asked.

"This changes everything," Jasper murmured.

"Nessie, you'll want to see this," Esme called. She didn't look at me but waved me over with her hand.

I bit my lip.

I got up and walked over. I was determined.

_Have hope_. Somehow, I could just imagine Mom and Dad telling me that, instead of Alice.

I sighed, remembering those nights all those decades ago when Mom and Dad lived in the cottage with me behind the Cullens' house in Forks. How many times had I heard them use the phrase 'have hope' after the news of the approaching Volturi came?

I glanced down at my hands…my red, bloodstained hands.

A sense of determination came over me. Would I be like the heroines in my favorite books, seeking adventure for chivalrous means? No…this was revenge. Pure revenge.

For the sake of my family, I would have hope. And whatever it took, I would kill Sue even if I got sent down to hell in the process.

**[[Oomgoosh. Please comment. They keep me alive and well. Just kidding, but it would be nice if you did.]]**


	2. Goodbye Jacob Black

**[[A/N: Thanksgiving Break ya'lls! OH YAH! That means no homework—which means I can also catch up on my story. Sorry I haven't been posting lately. Seems like the teachers all needed to cram in their tests before we left for the holidays.]]**

**[[2****nd**** A/N: This chapter, I hope, clears some stuff up. I know that I was kind of vague in my previous chapter, but hopefully, this will fix that. So, basically, this is all a flashback. ]]**

**[[3****rd**** A/N: Disclaimer goes here. You get the drill.]]**

**--**

_1 week after Return Home…In case you didn't know, in the end of that story (THE PREQUEL! GO READ IT!), Edward dies. Boohoo. _

_--_

I stared out the window.

_Rain._

_There is always rain. _

Little Quil ran outside…followed by Anna Clearwater.

_Mud on their shoes. _

_There goes Andrew from the Makah rez. What is he doing here? Looking for Hannah? _

_What was I thinking about before?_

"Ness, come on in for dinner. I made one of Rachel's chicken recipes. I know how you used to devour them at Christmas time," Jake called from the doorway.

I turned to look at him.

_That beautiful skin…_

_Just like Dad's. And Mom's. And Sue's, now._

"Coming," I said.

Jake's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything. He didn't need to.

I got off the worn, living room couch and wove my way through the mountains of boxes and clothes—all of Jake's inheritance from his brother.

As I neared the kitchen door, I could smell the intoxicating aroma of rosemary, thyme, and chicken. I suppose it would've smelled good.

_Not hungry_, I thought. But I went in anyway.

The table is all set up—the whole shebang. A fine, white tablecloth, albeit with a wine stain from previous years, candles, fine china, wine, everything.

"It's beautiful, Jake. I love what you've done with the place," I said.

Jake pursed his lips. "Come sit down, Ness. Sweetie, we need to talk."

I sat down. He had already put a half of chicken on my plate, surrounded by a moat of near-raw bits he shaved off the legs. I didn't smile at this gesture of kindness, even though I should have.

"Nessie," Jake murmured, touching my hand.

I cringed. Jake's thin smile disappeared.

"Nessie, you need to talk to me," Jake said softly. "You've been all but dead since you fought with Sue."

I blinked. "How else should I act, Jake?" I asked, my voice catching. "I'm in a situation here. My parents are dead."

"Talk to me about it, Nessie. I can help you sort it out and help you get better," Jake said, rubbing my hands in his warm palms.

"I don't want to," I said flatly. I picked up a fork in my free hand and jabbed it into a raw piece. I raised it to my mouth and inhaled the beautiful scent of fresh blood. I took a bite and chewed it slowly, careful to get the flavors in.

"Ness, you aren't acting straight. You need to let your emotions out," Jake said sternly. "You haven't cried since you returned. You need to cry."

"I need to cry?" I asked incredulously. It was an odd thing to feel emotions—I was sure that I bottled everything up tightly inside my head. I made sure of it. But I guess that bottle had overflowed.

"Yes! Or show some emotion," Jake said. He leaned closer to me. I could see his dark eyes search my face for anything he could use. They were so beautiful, but I desperately hid from their prying gaze.

"You need to let me be, Jacob," I snapped, but I had to admit, it sounded pretty weak in my ears. I stared at my plate. "I'm coping on my own terms."

"You aren't. You're just like your mother—you hold it in and let it out when no one can help you," Jake retorted. He kissed my hand, his lips lingering on my skin for a second longer than usual.

"You know what happened, right?" I asked dully. "What happened between Sue, Edward, and Demitri?"

"Demitri killed Edward and Sue came in for the kill," Jake said gently. "Alice told me."

"Don't you feel sorry for him?" I demand, the anger rising to my face. "He was my father! Or how about Mom? You loved her!"

Jake face hardened. "Don't ever say that. I loved your parents like they were part of my own pack."

"Then why aren't you showing the same grief I am? If Quil or Embry had died like they did, you would be just like me," I screamed.

Jake's face twisted into grief—like my own grief. I felt satisfaction in seeing that, and that satisfaction made me feel sick. I loved Jake, but I was hurting him.

"Don't turn this conversation on me, Nessie. We are talking about you," he growled.

"Fine! But you have no right to be lecturing me on something you don't even know about," I yelled. I yanked both my hands up to his face and place them palms out onto his forehead.

I don't use my powers very much anymore. They aren't something I need. I can talk. I like talking. So granted I was a little rusty, I began to give my boyfriend a speed view of what happened in that lonely parking lot.

"Nessie—" Jake began to protest.

I thought hard. It hurt to think about that night, but I wanted Jake to see it.

_Edward. Demetri_. _Sue. The fighting. Alice. The fighting. Sue's threats. I'm scared. The parking lot. The pile of limbs. Demetri's unconscious body. Everything that happened that day. Everything_.

"NESSIE! STOP!" Jake yelled, pulling away from my grip.

"You saw didn't you?" I demanded. "Now you know exactly what I know. And you know why I can't just let it go."

"But you have to," Jake insisted, rubbing his head like I had inserted something nasty into it. "It's making you lose it."

"Can't you just be a good boyfriend and comfort me?" I asked.

"Ness," Jake began.

"No," I interrupted. "I need you."

"Nessie, I can't bear to see you like this!" Jake shouted.

I pushed myself away from the table. The chair fell backwards as I stood up, falling to the floor in a loud crash. It echoed in the all-too-quiet kitchen. And for a moment, I just stood there. Jake looked up at me, his eyes dead straight. I wanted them to look away, because I felt myself crumbling under his loving gaze.

"If you can't bear to see me like this, then maybe I should leave," I murmured.

"Ness, I didn't mean that—" Jake said.

"You did," I said stonily. I glanced towards the door. It was nighttime, but I was pretty sure that didn't matter for my family. "You meant it utterly."

"Nessie, I loved your parents. Your mom and you dad were like my own brother and sister," Jake said urgently. He stood up now, his own chair squeaking loudly across the kitchen floor.

"Then why don't you understand how I'm acting?" I demanded, slamming my hand down on the table. It moaned under my force—everything shifted towards me about an inch.

"Because I won't let my grief tear me apart. You are acting just like Bella did! And if I wasn't there to help her, she would've killed herself!" Jake growled.

"Then help me, Jake," I pleaded. "I need you."

"And I need you, Nessie. But I need you to move on," Jake replied.

I shook my head. I didn't need to say anything. It was apparent to me that Jake couldn't accept me in my current state. And maybe I didn't want him to.

I moved towards the doorway.

"Renesmee!" Jake called out, after me.

I didn't hesitate. I was out the door, running through the outskirts of La Push towards Seattle. Towards my family. But inside my chest, I felt like my heart was being ripped out and remaining with Jacob.

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**[[A/N: That turned out a bit more angsty than I had planned, but oh well. I was kind of vague about what happened in the months between Return Home and the start of Heavy Burdens. This is basically what happened and how Jake split from Renesmee. Don't worry. They'll get back together soon.]]**

**[[2****nd**** A/N: 6 out of 10 authors feel lonely without comments. Don't make me one. COMMENT AND REVIEW PLEASE!]]**


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